Names we calll ourselves
Recently I met someone who called himself an “Alpha Dom.” After observing him closely to see what set him aside from the other Dominents at the party, I have to confess that I would be hard pressed to to see what made him so special.
I believe that titles are simply labels. In the same ways as we give titles to senior staff in a company, to set them aside from the other staff and highlight their function, we also use titles in the BDSM lifestyle to show where we fit in. Now this is not to say that these titles have no meaning, they do.
Should someone be a “Slave,” you automatically know that they have a Master and that they are “hands off,” as far as you are concerned. Those labels are important and are what show where we belong in the lifestyle.
Dominants come in all shapes and sizes. There are quiet Doms, there are Doms who need to be the centre of attraction. As every person is different, so is one Dom different from the other. Giving yourself a title means nothing, unless you can show by your actions that you deserve it.
Which brings us back to the Term “Alpha Dom,” the person in question was not in my opinion a leader. If he had been a take charge type of person and organised things, I would have simply accepted title as being one he deserved. Alas his feet were made of clay!
Photo reblogged from swiss sub lover with 17 notes
Clear your mind, focus on the pain, the pleasure.
Source: sabins
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BDSM - Some thoughts: Alcohol
There is a great deal of debate about BDSM play and alcohol. Whilst I do not believe in a completer ban on alcohol, I believe that there have to be strict limits.
Alcohol lowers inhibitions . A glas of wine before play start, will help nervous players to relax. But at the same time, too much may lower inhibitions to a point where play could become dangerous, especially if the Dominant is no longer fully sober.
Water and fruit juice, even sodas are fine during play and having something stronger when play is over is also okay.
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BDSM - Non Sexual Play
People outside of the lifestyle, tend to believe that BDSM is either an excuse for cruelty or else it is excuse for wild kinky sex, and lots of it. Nothing could be further from the truth.
BDSM is a lifestyle that means different things to different people. Yes sex is involved, as it is with any lifestyle. But, with any relationship between two (or more, adults, it is something that has been agreed upon, other wise it is rape!
A Dom or Domme, who offers BDSM services professionally, is not offering sex for sale, but rather statisfyng a need to be restrained or to recieve corporal punishment or such like. If sex was offered, most countries would consider it Prostitution. This is not to say that sex cannot take place, howver Dom/Domme would be discreat about it.
No Sexual play is possible in a non professional play as well. I have Dommed a friend with whom I had no interest in sexually, and yet we both got what we wanted out of the session. For me it was the power that comes from being in charge, for her it was the slow build up and the release of adrenalin and endorphins that comes with Sub Space.
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Edge Play
Edge Play is a way for a Master/Mistress to control a Submissive or Slave. Very simply, Edge play is allowing a submissive to approach orgasm and then stop, wait and then start again and stop again and repeat as many times as the Master feels like it. Some times orgasm is given as reward, but more often that not, it is denied.
The Master is telling the Submissive - “I own your Orgasm and you will come when it suits me”
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Breast an Nipple Torture
he Breast is both functional and erotic. Women’s breast function as a source of nourishment for babies, whilst remaining a source of erotic pleasure for both herself and her partner. Men’s breast cannot be used for breast feeding, but still provide him with erotic pleasure.
Womens breasts are tend to be more prominent than mans breast, although, sometimes it is the other way around. However it easy enough to pinch the nipples or both sexes or attach a peg to the nipple. Whilst it is possible to buy special clamps, /http://www.wartenbergwheel.com/WWC-squeeze.htm/ it is easy enough to improvise. Pegs are the most obvious, but so are hair clips as well as bulldog clips. Of Course so are fingers perfect for squeezing and twisting nipples.
I have found that when you clamp the nipple, the longer the clamp stays on , the more intense the pain when you remove it. This is similar to pins and needles.
The breast are perfect for flogging. Start with a nice thuddy soft flogger and move onto a more stingier one. You can also use a cane on the breasts
Remember, as with everything you do in BDSM, start slowly and work your way up. Make sure that you have safe word and when used you stop. But most of all enjoy!
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Candle Wax
In the movie “Body of Evidence” Madonna is seen poring hot wax on William Dafoe’s chest. Next day you see him take his shirt off and you see angry red marks on his chest. Bullcrap! Hot wax is quite harmless and does not leave marks if done correctly.
I love using hot candle wax on a willing subject. It is the perfect ending to a good flogging. When they start purring with pleasure, is when I start dripping hot wax on their back. I tend to be sneaky and start doing it when they least expect it. I will start by holding the candle at about a foot in height and drop down as they get used to it. Remember, the higher the candle, the further the was travels, the cooler the wax is when it strikes.
The best candle to use are ordinary parafin candles. I use different colours to make pretty patterns Once the wax has cooled, it can be scrapped off gently with a knife
But again Hollywood got it wrong and Madonna may be very talented as a singer and actress, but a Movie Dominatrix, I don’t think so!
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Bastinado
Foot whipping or Bastinado, is used as a form of torture in some countries. It is used in Saudi Arabia and by the police in Zimbabewe. (Wikipedia).
Practised by both spankers and BDSM Doms, Bastinado is an ideal tool in any sadists bag of tricks. A Web Site dedicated to Bastinado, surpisingly called The Bastinado can be found here. As with all BDSM prattices, Bastinado requires some preperationand a little care. However it is a great soure of pleasure for both Sadist and Masochist.
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